Hi, my name is Laura and I am Arthur’s Mummy. I am married to Dan and as well as Arthur, we have a little girl called Emmeline (Emme) who has just turned 3.
In July 2017, during what was a very straightforward pregnancy our worlds suddenly came crashing down, when without warning, one evening at around 9:30pm I noticed that Arthur, our very much wanted second child had stopped moving at 36 weeks pregnant. Having only visited the midwife that same day for the usual check-up at 11am, most people wouldn’t have been too concerned, but something instinctively told me there was something wrong. My fears sadly proved to be heartbreakingly correct when we were checked at the hospital and hour or so later and told Arthur no longer had a heartbeat. I can still hear those words even now, but the consultant wasn’t telling me something I didn’t already know. I knew before we got to the hospital, I’m not sure how but somehow I just knew.
What we didn’t know then was the reason that Arthur could die so suddenly. In a little over 10 hours, we had gone from everything being ok to the worst possible news. It was only after Arthur was born that we discovered the reason for his death was a very tight true knot in the umbilical cord.
Arthur and creating a meaningful memory for him is the reason behind ‘After Arthur’. My hope is that it can in some way help others who are also on this journey to feel less alone. It enables me to talk about Arthur and write down his name. I have found writing about Arthur to be so cathartic, it has helped me make sense of the mixture of emotions I have felt in the first weeks and months since losing Arthur.
You will see the phrase ‘The loss is great but the love is greater’ repeated throughout these pages, I wrote this in a post and it just stuck with me. It has become almost a mantra. It sums up everything I feel for my darling boy and the shear intensity and depth of our love for him.
Arthur, forever missed and loved eternally.
The loss is great, but the love is greater.