Baby Loss

One More Minute: 60 ticks of the clock

Late last night during a restless night the current Child Bereavement UK campaign got me to the thinking. One more minute, what would you do if you had this?

Time….. Minutes, hours, days, even years. What do they really all add up to? Do they measure the importance of a life by its length of it? Is a life truly defined by how many seconds tick by on a clock? I don’t believe a life can be measured by its length, instead I believe life is defined by the impact that it has on the world and by the moments that matter, as humans we don’t remember time, we remember moments. Continue reading “One More Minute: 60 ticks of the clock”

Baby Loss · Loss · Stillbirth

The loss is great but the love is greater

Had Arthur been born on the day of my planned C-Section, he would have been 10 weeks old today. 10 whole weeks, I sit here and wonder what he may be doing now, how big he would be and how much he would now weight. I will never be able to answer any of those questions because instead I will only ever know him at 1 day old, the day he arrived and the day he was gone coincide. Continue reading “The loss is great but the love is greater”

Baby Loss · Mental Health & Wellbeing

It’s OK not to be OK

In the 88 days since Arthur was born I have learnt many things, I have felt many things and I have experienced my heart break a million times over. I have changed beyond recognition in the last 12 and a bit weeks. I have seen lifelong friends vanish without a trace and had endless conversations with my just turned 3 year old daughter Emme about death. None of these things even factored on my radar at the start of this year, let alone 3 months ago Continue reading “It’s OK not to be OK”

Baby Loss

Arthur’s Star

Having a little girl, Emmeline who was not quite 3 when Arthur died has made finding ways to talk about and include Arthur in our lives essential. Emme will always grow up knowing she had a little brother, although she never met Arthur, Continue reading “Arthur’s Star”

Baby Loss · Stillbirth

My 35th Year: A not so Happy Birthday

I write this a few weeks after my 35th Birthday, through illness and a variety of other things, this has been written and re-written in my head several times over the last week or so.

14th September 2017 – My 35th birthday, my 35th spin round the sun….. 

This year has been one that has broken me beyond words and taken me to the brink of what I feel any human should have to deal with. It has destroyed all my hope and excitement for the future and broken my heart beyond repair. Continue reading “My 35th Year: A not so Happy Birthday”